Category: - DC
 
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big plays?
im white hes black
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CLOSE GAME?
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NOPE TAKE SOME LESSONS SON
GET GOOD SMALL SON
 
The 3-3 Kevin "Republicans win" meagher and the 2-4  Ty "GG KEV U MAD" kaufman teams met in week 7 of fantasy football to have a hissy fight over the much coveted last place back of the bus #4 playoff seed. After the 10AM games, kaufman here pulls into a huge as fuck 80 point lead or so, and begins to lay the bigbury on the smallson kevin.
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usureaboutthatbro?
Kevin, being unable to stand being put into a festering canister of smelly shit by kaufman, decides to go invisible mode on skype in an attempt to soften the E-blows coming from ty. Then, out of nowhere, Rodgers gets super lucky and connects with Jennings for a cross the field touchdown (Kevin has both players). Magically, Kevin comes " back online" at this exact moment and begins to drop dem G's(condensed somewhat)

[10/23/2011 2:53:11 PM] Ty Kaufman: and final scoreboard results
[10/23/2011 2:56:25 PM] Kevin Meagher: GGGGGGGGG
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Randy Hiroshige: wut
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: gg
[10/23/2011 2:56:53 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:55 PM] Kevin Meagher: 85-98
[10/23/2011 2:56:56 PM] Randy Hiroshige: wtf
[10/23/2011 2:56:57 PM] Kevin Meagher: TY UMAD ??
[10/23/2011 2:56:58 PM] Randy Hiroshige: TROLOLOLOL[10/23/2011 2:57:03 PM] Randy Hiroshige: GG TY UMAD?Randy, of course, is going for the bandwagon.
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ty not sure about that
All of sudden, Kevin is up by a large sum and Ty only has new orleans defense left. BUT WAIT A MINUTE, HAVE WE SEEN THIS SHIT BEFORE?
OH NO KEVIN WATCH OUT HERE COMES NEW ORLEANS DEFENSE
 
After becoming friends with our new pal Paul here ty goes for the big plaaay and posts on his wall "JARED STOP PRETENDING TO BE THIS PAUL MAWDSLEY CHARACTER WE ALL KNOW YOUR TRUE IDENTITY" after paul attempted to get his entire texan possie to vote on the below poll "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS RANDOM". Ty decides to go for paul's jugular and finds his PHONE NUMBER and goes for the prank call featuring a huge conference call on skype.

Things discussed:

Shyam and his basement
Jacking off
Hinduism
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The guy on the phone is bigman of the hour ty
Im the rather high pitched for some reason asian guy you can occasionally hear giving directions
Elena randy and bvo make cameos
Ty can hear us but paul cannot
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the real shit goes down at 1:06
Turns out paul is actually some form of boss and can communicate with 100% grace akin to jared richardson. The following is the first conversation between the two (courtesy of ty kaufman, what the fuck is facebook I have no idea)

Paul Mawdsley    (initiates convo)
I don't really see the resemblance. 

Jared Richardson Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?
20 minutes ago 

Paul Mawdsley lol me to lol u now me him lol u hes loling lol
19 minutes ago 

Jared Richardson At first i was like. Then i lol'd.
18 minutes ago 

Paul Mawdsley I hear we're a legend.
17 minutes ago 

Jared Richardson No.15 minutes ago
 
Coming to nobody's surprise, the fantasy football league rankings up to saturday october 15th are as follows
1.) WILLIAM "stigged" PENG
2.) Dennis "FloatesMcgoates" Cao
3.) Kevin "Republicans win" Meagher <--- btw meagher is spelled kind of like meghan HMM?
4.) Randy "sushi" Hiroshige
----------- (top four go to playoffs)
5.) Thai "Thaitanium" Nguyen
6.) Mason "go nads" levy
7.) Ty "GG KEV U MAD?" Kaufman 
8.) Jake "dunno his team name but he sucks huge balls" Lotwin

Pulling the number one spot out of his fucking ass is this william fellow who immigrated in the third grade. Going into the draft, he had no idea what the hell he was doing so he decided to "troll" kevin by first picking aaron rodgers. Turns out kevin goes for the counter troll by picking william's favorite bandwagon quarterback tom brady. Then, the two negotiate a SUPERSECRET trade. Anyway, william procedes to stack his entire team full of new england patriot players because he knows 0 about anybody else who plays in the NFL and he crosses his fingers while holding his balls hoping for wins.

WELL then out of 100% luck it turns out after 5 weeks of play William rode the patriot penis all the way to first place. Now, he thinks he is the lord of all football and has began giving out advice to other players.
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SIGH
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This shit is unbearable
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HOLY SHIT GENIUS ALERT

Of course, I did the same thing as william only instead of stacking patriots players I have stacked Eagles players for equally good results, EZ number 2 seed no problems?

The other story here is that the 3 white kids in the league are scrambling to explain why they r sucking so much dick
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typical excuses + nice english bro
jake just sucks nice 1-4 chap dont worry I provide fantasy football lessons for $9.99 per hour paypal to DennisCao@live.com
 
just need pics no need for text gg ty sucks
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YOU THINK U GOOD HUH?
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stfu jared real men talking
 
EZ business np just playing some league of legends with ty jared ashley kenneth + some guy I forgot but only four of us are on skype voice chat for some reason. I put ashley in the phone call for team communication purposes but Ty decides to get mad at ashley for some reason and shouts out loud " I dont fucking want to play with Ashley shes bad." However, Ty didnt realize that I put ashley in the call and gets super boned. I try to stop Ty from fumbling by instantly saying " NO FUCK TY oh my go.." but it was too late. so basically me and kenneth are laughing our assess off for about 5 minutes while Ty sulks in embarrasment trying to get mad through text chat
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AWKWARD?
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problem bro?
Anyway, what happens next is that Ty decides that it is getting way too fucking awkward with him and ashley in the same room so he hangs everyone up in the original skype call and makes a new one without ashley in it ( even though ashley is at this point still playing with us, and the game just started). Once we are in the game lobby though, I expose Ty's evil plans by saying out loud "SO IT APPEARS AS THOUGH TY HAS MADE A NEW SKYPE CALL, AND ONE OF THE 5 OF US ARE NOT IN IT ATM." Ty is again flustered. Then, one player on the enemy team leaves before the picking phase is over disbanding out lobby. At this point, Ty remakes the lobby with only 4 of us, aka he ditched ashley even though ashley waited 5 minutes for jared to finish playing his game (LOL TY SMOOTH MOVE).

Turns out Me and Ty carry kenneth and jared on our backs to win the game.


On the same day, kenneth and ty and some other kids already had a full party but then I logged on and demanded to be put in the lobby at the expense of someone else so kenneth and ty sneakily ditch cris b LOL (mad kids will get mad)