Category: - DC
 
EVERYTHING GOING SUPERB IN FANTASY FOOTBALL I SHOULD BE CRUISING TO AN EASY VICTORY TO SEAL MY NUMBER ONE STATUS ON THE INTERNET but then lesean mccoy gets injured after only getting a measly 4.5 yards, sealing my fate as a slobbish number 2.

However, this fate is much better than the fate suffered by Mason levy, who appeared to be on the rise and almost made it to the playoffs, only to be outskilled by kevin meagher and then... JAKE LOTWIN, and ended up in last place cause hes bad.

An even worse fate was suffered by Thai nguyen, who foolishly bet me in the semifinals that he would win the match. Well, turns out he lost and he has to sing "a thousand miles" by some venessa chick as well as hold up what is going to be a rather humiliating sign all the while wearing my eagles jacket and eagles cap.

his song will then be put up with jake's song for an epic poll





also ZQ's team ended up being all hype and got a dissapointing 3rd place (badkidismad)
 
On the previous friday, while for one reason or another the entire calculus class was listening to 2 horrid singers attempt to taylor swift, William was busy trying to dodge Mason's wager on another loser sings bet. "NO THATS GAY!" among various other excuses. That afternoon and on sunday, continual prodding from peers proved ineffective at draggin william out of the dumpster. HOWEVER, ONCE THE SUNDAY FOOTBALL GAMES HAVE ALREADY STARTED AND WILLIAM NOTICES THAT HE WILL PULL AN EZPZ WIN, ALL OF A SUDDEN HE HAS A CHANGE OF HEART
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flopflipflopflip
Of course, the punishment for such a vile act of mischievery shall be that william has to be the one who sings, as per the new rule:

If you make a bet the other person did not agree to but still win the bet, both of you have to suffer the consequences of a lost bet.


LOOKS LIKE KIDS WILL B SINGING
 
KK so after Mason lost to me in fantasy football he was supposed to go ahead and sing a famous Taylor swift song as punishment but lo and behold his fucking balls dropped off and decided to pussy out and avoid singing for 2 weeks while putting his arms around his head and saying "LALALALALA DODGE?""" LLAOALALA"

Anyway, after many attempts to peer pressure him into singing, I cut a deal where I would sing one song and then he would sing a song. After I sang the song, the peer pressure piled up 10x and mason was forced to give in. May I present to you:
1.) Mason Singing "Mine"

2.) Dennis singing "Love Story"
 
Mason is pumped full of extra testosterone due to his stunning rise in fantasy football power projections over the last few weeks and senses his opportunity to burst into the top tier of the league with a win over me today. This moron got so lucky as to face me on the week the Eagles have a bye so he is favored to win by an incredibly large margin. No worries tho, my balls are just as large as his because I havnt jacked off in like 2 days and have placed the following wager on the game:

1.) Loser has to sing taylor swift into their microphone
2.) Singing is recorded
3.) Singing gets put up on website



my FloatesMcgoates will sail to an effortless victory over Mason's gonads NP
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mason talking big to compensate for penis size
 
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need a change of undergarments there mason?
After going 2-3 and being tied for second to last place, Mason had to pull off a win this week especially after making that stupid excuse " I had the hardest teams to play against me omg!". Well it turns out that this week Mason managed to pull himself out of the dumpster, or rather, thai decided to climb into the dumpster with Mason and Mason saw his chance and stepped on top of Thai for a 1 point victory. In this High Scoring contest of legends, oh wait they only scored about 70 points each because they have garbage as fuck teams. Thai's entire wide reciever lineup scored less than my one WR mike wallace while Mason's minnesota defense going full retard for the -1 points. Randy scored more points this week that both these dumpsters combined (KEVIN U MAD SON? )

After getting shitslammed by william peng over skype (see bottom post with william's skype comments), Mason needed a big win but turns out all he got was the smallest sons of wins. Mason get yourself a clipboard and a pen or pencil and take notes you ready?

1.) Your quarterbacks are trashtier trade me for cam newton ill take that adrian peterson off your hands
2.) Change your horribad defense, minnesota plays green bay next week
3.) Change your skype profile pic, its gay-meter is off the charts
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jokes? get this shit off my map
On another note, my team faces mason's team this week. Mason has a huge handicap advantage as the eagles have a bye week and my entire team is eagles, Mason will still probably lose because he has no idea about what football is ( nice peyton manning draft yo).


in other unsurprising news, jake lotwin loses yet another game
 
Coming to nobody's surprise, the fantasy football league rankings up to saturday october 15th are as follows
1.) WILLIAM "stigged" PENG
2.) Dennis "FloatesMcgoates" Cao
3.) Kevin "Republicans win" Meagher <--- btw meagher is spelled kind of like meghan HMM?
4.) Randy "sushi" Hiroshige
----------- (top four go to playoffs)
5.) Thai "Thaitanium" Nguyen
6.) Mason "go nads" levy
7.) Ty "GG KEV U MAD?" Kaufman 
8.) Jake "dunno his team name but he sucks huge balls" Lotwin

Pulling the number one spot out of his fucking ass is this william fellow who immigrated in the third grade. Going into the draft, he had no idea what the hell he was doing so he decided to "troll" kevin by first picking aaron rodgers. Turns out kevin goes for the counter troll by picking william's favorite bandwagon quarterback tom brady. Then, the two negotiate a SUPERSECRET trade. Anyway, william procedes to stack his entire team full of new england patriot players because he knows 0 about anybody else who plays in the NFL and he crosses his fingers while holding his balls hoping for wins.

WELL then out of 100% luck it turns out after 5 weeks of play William rode the patriot penis all the way to first place. Now, he thinks he is the lord of all football and has began giving out advice to other players.
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SIGH
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This shit is unbearable
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HOLY SHIT GENIUS ALERT

Of course, I did the same thing as william only instead of stacking patriots players I have stacked Eagles players for equally good results, EZ number 2 seed no problems?

The other story here is that the 3 white kids in the league are scrambling to explain why they r sucking so much dick
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typical excuses + nice english bro
jake just sucks nice 1-4 chap dont worry I provide fantasy football lessons for $9.99 per hour paypal to DennisCao@live.com