Category: - DC
 
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GUYS I HAVE FUNNY JOKE: What happens when you combine a car with a pet? CARPET.
"Remember when I called Kevin a fagbag?"
 
VARIOUS ASIANS + WHITE GUYJARED decide to barge into my house and ninja make me a facebook out of thin air, now I am stuck with this timesucking thing that sucks and dont even know how to use. watisthis?





 
Kkkk everyone eating various slices of various pizzas at this food court place next to the movie theatre in peace + watching the world series when all off a sudden....

Kenneth/Megan: OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Kenneth/Megan: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
me/jared: ?
Kenneth/Megan: GUYS LOL ROFL AT THIS!

/// shows us the video of the guy getting paralyzed
Kenneth/Megan: OMG SO FUNNY
me: ...
Jared: HES FUCKING PARALYZED FOR LIFE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
Kenneth/Megan: NO HES NOT LOL THIS IS HILARIOUS OMG

one day later:

Kenneth/Megan : woopslol
 
Before the movie even begins, on the first trailer...
Kenneth: HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IM GETTING OUT OF HEREOMG
Jared: kenneth seriously?


"Film is panning left and right"
Kenneth : *puts his hands over his eyes*
Jared: Kenneth wtf r u doing?



Kenneth: STOP THE GODDAMN MOVIE
Jared: goddamnitkennethfucking


Kenneth: JARED WHATS HAPPENINGOMG
Jared: goddamnitkennethfucking


after movie:
Kenneth: OK THAT WAS FUCKING SCARY EVEN THOUGH I READ THE ENTIRE SUMMARY OF THE MOVIE BEFOREHAND -________-


btwgreatmovie
 
After becoming friends with our new pal Paul here ty goes for the big plaaay and posts on his wall "JARED STOP PRETENDING TO BE THIS PAUL MAWDSLEY CHARACTER WE ALL KNOW YOUR TRUE IDENTITY" after paul attempted to get his entire texan possie to vote on the below poll "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS RANDOM". Ty decides to go for paul's jugular and finds his PHONE NUMBER and goes for the prank call featuring a huge conference call on skype.

Things discussed:

Shyam and his basement
Jacking off
Hinduism
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The guy on the phone is bigman of the hour ty
Im the rather high pitched for some reason asian guy you can occasionally hear giving directions
Elena randy and bvo make cameos
Ty can hear us but paul cannot
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the real shit goes down at 1:06
Turns out paul is actually some form of boss and can communicate with 100% grace akin to jared richardson. The following is the first conversation between the two (courtesy of ty kaufman, what the fuck is facebook I have no idea)

Paul Mawdsley    (initiates convo)
I don't really see the resemblance. 

Jared Richardson Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?
20 minutes ago 

Paul Mawdsley lol me to lol u now me him lol u hes loling lol
19 minutes ago 

Jared Richardson At first i was like. Then i lol'd.
18 minutes ago 

Paul Mawdsley I hear we're a legend.
17 minutes ago 

Jared Richardson No.15 minutes ago
 
So In casual conversation Kenneth brings up the fact that Daryl was playing runescape with this here fellow Shyam "Ironic Maiden" Ravichandran. Of course, any mention of Shyam piques Kevin Meagher's interest because hes the only kid still in constant contact with our favorite indian as Shyam is Kevin's boss in the online soccer game fifa(LOL STEP UP SON). Kevin decides to do a little facebook snooping and guess what he finds?
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LOOKS FAMILIAR?
Looks like we have a 100% jared confirmed I mean look at this guy he has it down to the toilet paper clinging to the glasses that Jared keeps around so he can jack off where he wants when he wants. On the other side, he has his sunglasses he keeps around because he knows that his transitions take a year and a half to turn dark in the sun and a commensurate amount of time to become clear in the shade. Also, note how this guy is mocking us with his shirt of some troll + "MAGIC!" which is a clear allusion to jared seemingly being at 2 places at once. yo pal ur secrets out bro maybe you shouldve been better at hiding and not allow urself to be photoed by shyam eh?
Ok so the "jared obvious" category was winning by ez points but then it looks like paul brought in his texas gang, should be close
 
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ureadingthisjared?
 
EZ business np just playing some league of legends with ty jared ashley kenneth + some guy I forgot but only four of us are on skype voice chat for some reason. I put ashley in the phone call for team communication purposes but Ty decides to get mad at ashley for some reason and shouts out loud " I dont fucking want to play with Ashley shes bad." However, Ty didnt realize that I put ashley in the call and gets super boned. I try to stop Ty from fumbling by instantly saying " NO FUCK TY oh my go.." but it was too late. so basically me and kenneth are laughing our assess off for about 5 minutes while Ty sulks in embarrasment trying to get mad through text chat
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AWKWARD?
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problem bro?
Anyway, what happens next is that Ty decides that it is getting way too fucking awkward with him and ashley in the same room so he hangs everyone up in the original skype call and makes a new one without ashley in it ( even though ashley is at this point still playing with us, and the game just started). Once we are in the game lobby though, I expose Ty's evil plans by saying out loud "SO IT APPEARS AS THOUGH TY HAS MADE A NEW SKYPE CALL, AND ONE OF THE 5 OF US ARE NOT IN IT ATM." Ty is again flustered. Then, one player on the enemy team leaves before the picking phase is over disbanding out lobby. At this point, Ty remakes the lobby with only 4 of us, aka he ditched ashley even though ashley waited 5 minutes for jared to finish playing his game (LOL TY SMOOTH MOVE).

Turns out Me and Ty carry kenneth and jared on our backs to win the game.


On the same day, kenneth and ty and some other kids already had a full party but then I logged on and demanded to be put in the lobby at the expense of someone else so kenneth and ty sneakily ditch cris b LOL (mad kids will get mad)