EVERYTHING GOING SUPERB IN FANTASY FOOTBALL I SHOULD BE CRUISING TO AN EASY VICTORY TO SEAL MY NUMBER ONE STATUS ON THE INTERNET but then lesean mccoy gets injured after only getting a measly 4.5 yards, sealing my fate as a slobbish number 2.

However, this fate is much better than the fate suffered by Mason levy, who appeared to be on the rise and almost made it to the playoffs, only to be outskilled by kevin meagher and then... JAKE LOTWIN, and ended up in last place cause hes bad.

An even worse fate was suffered by Thai nguyen, who foolishly bet me in the semifinals that he would win the match. Well, turns out he lost and he has to sing "a thousand miles" by some venessa chick as well as hold up what is going to be a rather humiliating sign all the while wearing my eagles jacket and eagles cap.

his song will then be put up with jake's song for an epic poll





also ZQ's team ended up being all hype and got a dissapointing 3rd place (badkidismad)
 
The regular season is over and soaring over the rest of the rubble of the league are
1.) WILLIAM PENG
2.) DENNIS CAO
3.) THAI NGUYEN
3.) RANDY HIROSHIGE

which represent all of the asians in the league. meanwhile, the bottom 4 (comprised of the rest of these whites) will slug it out in a massive trash throwing dumpster contest we have the various whites of jake mason ty and kevin. It is especially ironic since kevin stacked his team with the undefeated packers and he has sucked 100% balls compared to the rest of the league, including the non-playoff bound eagles stacked dennis team and the patriot stacked william team. 

My prediction is that william will utterly crush the japanese guy in 1v1 physical combat via internet and come out on top 120-98 while thai falls to my superior running quarterbacks in a 100-80 affair.

THEN IT WILL BE THE THIRD GAME BETWEEN ME AND WILLIAM FOR THE FINALS GG
 
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confirmed mad.
So after dropping both his games against.... ZHIQIAN peng, Kevin has completed his fall from playoff contender to honored member of the dumpster squad. Meanwhile, Jake lotwin climbs from last place to 5th place with wins last week and this week over number 2 randy, and is now one game off of playoffs and has proceeded to become the new troll of the room by asking "umad???" to everybody that he beats.


EDIT : HOLD THE PHONE, POSTED PREMATURELY?? RANDY IS MAKIGN A BIG COMEBACK WITH JORDY NELSON


REVERSE EDIT: IT APPEARS AS THOUGH RANDY HAS STOPPED SHORT OF AN EPIC COMEBACK BY 2 POINTS, JAKE LAUGHS ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK RANDYMADMADMADMADMADMADMMADMADMMADMDAMDMADMMADMDAMADMADMMAD
MADMADMADMDAMMADMADMADM
 
The 3-3 Kevin "Republicans win" meagher and the 2-4  Ty "GG KEV U MAD" kaufman teams met in week 7 of fantasy football to have a hissy fight over the much coveted last place back of the bus #4 playoff seed. After the 10AM games, kaufman here pulls into a huge as fuck 80 point lead or so, and begins to lay the bigbury on the smallson kevin.
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usureaboutthatbro?
Kevin, being unable to stand being put into a festering canister of smelly shit by kaufman, decides to go invisible mode on skype in an attempt to soften the E-blows coming from ty. Then, out of nowhere, Rodgers gets super lucky and connects with Jennings for a cross the field touchdown (Kevin has both players). Magically, Kevin comes " back online" at this exact moment and begins to drop dem G's(condensed somewhat)

[10/23/2011 2:53:11 PM] Ty Kaufman: and final scoreboard results
[10/23/2011 2:56:25 PM] Kevin Meagher: GGGGGGGGG
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Randy Hiroshige: wut
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: gg
[10/23/2011 2:56:53 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:55 PM] Kevin Meagher: 85-98
[10/23/2011 2:56:56 PM] Randy Hiroshige: wtf
[10/23/2011 2:56:57 PM] Kevin Meagher: TY UMAD ??
[10/23/2011 2:56:58 PM] Randy Hiroshige: TROLOLOLOL[10/23/2011 2:57:03 PM] Randy Hiroshige: GG TY UMAD?Randy, of course, is going for the bandwagon.
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ty not sure about that
All of sudden, Kevin is up by a large sum and Ty only has new orleans defense left. BUT WAIT A MINUTE, HAVE WE SEEN THIS SHIT BEFORE?
OH NO KEVIN WATCH OUT HERE COMES NEW ORLEANS DEFENSE
 
Mason is pumped full of extra testosterone due to his stunning rise in fantasy football power projections over the last few weeks and senses his opportunity to burst into the top tier of the league with a win over me today. This moron got so lucky as to face me on the week the Eagles have a bye so he is favored to win by an incredibly large margin. No worries tho, my balls are just as large as his because I havnt jacked off in like 2 days and have placed the following wager on the game:

1.) Loser has to sing taylor swift into their microphone
2.) Singing is recorded
3.) Singing gets put up on website



my FloatesMcgoates will sail to an effortless victory over Mason's gonads NP
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mason talking big to compensate for penis size
 
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need a change of undergarments there mason?
After going 2-3 and being tied for second to last place, Mason had to pull off a win this week especially after making that stupid excuse " I had the hardest teams to play against me omg!". Well it turns out that this week Mason managed to pull himself out of the dumpster, or rather, thai decided to climb into the dumpster with Mason and Mason saw his chance and stepped on top of Thai for a 1 point victory. In this High Scoring contest of legends, oh wait they only scored about 70 points each because they have garbage as fuck teams. Thai's entire wide reciever lineup scored less than my one WR mike wallace while Mason's minnesota defense going full retard for the -1 points. Randy scored more points this week that both these dumpsters combined (KEVIN U MAD SON? )

After getting shitslammed by william peng over skype (see bottom post with william's skype comments), Mason needed a big win but turns out all he got was the smallest sons of wins. Mason get yourself a clipboard and a pen or pencil and take notes you ready?

1.) Your quarterbacks are trashtier trade me for cam newton ill take that adrian peterson off your hands
2.) Change your horribad defense, minnesota plays green bay next week
3.) Change your skype profile pic, its gay-meter is off the charts
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jokes? get this shit off my map
On another note, my team faces mason's team this week. Mason has a huge handicap advantage as the eagles have a bye week and my entire team is eagles, Mason will still probably lose because he has no idea about what football is ( nice peyton manning draft yo).


in other unsurprising news, jake lotwin loses yet another game
 
Coming to nobody's surprise, the fantasy football league rankings up to saturday october 15th are as follows
1.) WILLIAM "stigged" PENG
2.) Dennis "FloatesMcgoates" Cao
3.) Kevin "Republicans win" Meagher <--- btw meagher is spelled kind of like meghan HMM?
4.) Randy "sushi" Hiroshige
----------- (top four go to playoffs)
5.) Thai "Thaitanium" Nguyen
6.) Mason "go nads" levy
7.) Ty "GG KEV U MAD?" Kaufman 
8.) Jake "dunno his team name but he sucks huge balls" Lotwin

Pulling the number one spot out of his fucking ass is this william fellow who immigrated in the third grade. Going into the draft, he had no idea what the hell he was doing so he decided to "troll" kevin by first picking aaron rodgers. Turns out kevin goes for the counter troll by picking william's favorite bandwagon quarterback tom brady. Then, the two negotiate a SUPERSECRET trade. Anyway, william procedes to stack his entire team full of new england patriot players because he knows 0 about anybody else who plays in the NFL and he crosses his fingers while holding his balls hoping for wins.

WELL then out of 100% luck it turns out after 5 weeks of play William rode the patriot penis all the way to first place. Now, he thinks he is the lord of all football and has began giving out advice to other players.
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SIGH
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This shit is unbearable
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HOLY SHIT GENIUS ALERT

Of course, I did the same thing as william only instead of stacking patriots players I have stacked Eagles players for equally good results, EZ number 2 seed no problems?

The other story here is that the 3 white kids in the league are scrambling to explain why they r sucking so much dick
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typical excuses + nice english bro
jake just sucks nice 1-4 chap dont worry I provide fantasy football lessons for $9.99 per hour paypal to DennisCao@live.com