Blog Archives - DC
 
Kkkk everyone eating various slices of various pizzas at this food court place next to the movie theatre in peace + watching the world series when all off a sudden....

Kenneth/Megan: OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Kenneth/Megan: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
me/jared: ?
Kenneth/Megan: GUYS LOL ROFL AT THIS!

/// shows us the video of the guy getting paralyzed
Kenneth/Megan: OMG SO FUNNY
me: ...
Jared: HES FUCKING PARALYZED FOR LIFE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
Kenneth/Megan: NO HES NOT LOL THIS IS HILARIOUS OMG

one day later:

Kenneth/Megan : woopslol
 
Before the movie even begins, on the first trailer...
Kenneth: HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IM GETTING OUT OF HEREOMG
Jared: kenneth seriously?


"Film is panning left and right"
Kenneth : *puts his hands over his eyes*
Jared: Kenneth wtf r u doing?



Kenneth: STOP THE GODDAMN MOVIE
Jared: goddamnitkennethfucking


Kenneth: JARED WHATS HAPPENINGOMG
Jared: goddamnitkennethfucking


after movie:
Kenneth: OK THAT WAS FUCKING SCARY EVEN THOUGH I READ THE ENTIRE SUMMARY OF THE MOVIE BEFOREHAND -________-


btwgreatmovie
 
Mason big dodging taylor swift and as a result he gets his 18 year old "freedom" license at school denied. STEP UP SON AND ILL HAVE THAT SHIT APPEALED IN NO TIME
 
The 3-3 Kevin "Republicans win" meagher and the 2-4  Ty "GG KEV U MAD" kaufman teams met in week 7 of fantasy football to have a hissy fight over the much coveted last place back of the bus #4 playoff seed. After the 10AM games, kaufman here pulls into a huge as fuck 80 point lead or so, and begins to lay the bigbury on the smallson kevin.
Picture
usureaboutthatbro?
Kevin, being unable to stand being put into a festering canister of smelly shit by kaufman, decides to go invisible mode on skype in an attempt to soften the E-blows coming from ty. Then, out of nowhere, Rodgers gets super lucky and connects with Jennings for a cross the field touchdown (Kevin has both players). Magically, Kevin comes " back online" at this exact moment and begins to drop dem G's(condensed somewhat)

[10/23/2011 2:53:11 PM] Ty Kaufman: and final scoreboard results
[10/23/2011 2:56:25 PM] Kevin Meagher: GGGGGGGGG
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Randy Hiroshige: wut
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:51 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:52 PM] Kevin Meagher: gg
[10/23/2011 2:56:53 PM] Kevin Meagher: g
[10/23/2011 2:56:55 PM] Kevin Meagher: 85-98
[10/23/2011 2:56:56 PM] Randy Hiroshige: wtf
[10/23/2011 2:56:57 PM] Kevin Meagher: TY UMAD ??
[10/23/2011 2:56:58 PM] Randy Hiroshige: TROLOLOLOL[10/23/2011 2:57:03 PM] Randy Hiroshige: GG TY UMAD?Randy, of course, is going for the bandwagon.
Picture
ty not sure about that
All of sudden, Kevin is up by a large sum and Ty only has new orleans defense left. BUT WAIT A MINUTE, HAVE WE SEEN THIS SHIT BEFORE?
OH NO KEVIN WATCH OUT HERE COMES NEW ORLEANS DEFENSE
 
Mason is pumped full of extra testosterone due to his stunning rise in fantasy football power projections over the last few weeks and senses his opportunity to burst into the top tier of the league with a win over me today. This moron got so lucky as to face me on the week the Eagles have a bye so he is favored to win by an incredibly large margin. No worries tho, my balls are just as large as his because I havnt jacked off in like 2 days and have placed the following wager on the game:

1.) Loser has to sing taylor swift into their microphone
2.) Singing is recorded
3.) Singing gets put up on website



my FloatesMcgoates will sail to an effortless victory over Mason's gonads NP
Picture
mason talking big to compensate for penis size
 
After becoming friends with our new pal Paul here ty goes for the big plaaay and posts on his wall "JARED STOP PRETENDING TO BE THIS PAUL MAWDSLEY CHARACTER WE ALL KNOW YOUR TRUE IDENTITY" after paul attempted to get his entire texan possie to vote on the below poll "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS RANDOM". Ty decides to go for paul's jugular and finds his PHONE NUMBER and goes for the prank call featuring a huge conference call on skype.

Things discussed:

Shyam and his basement
Jacking off
Hinduism
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The guy on the phone is bigman of the hour ty
Im the rather high pitched for some reason asian guy you can occasionally hear giving directions
Elena randy and bvo make cameos
Ty can hear us but paul cannot
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the real shit goes down at 1:06
Turns out paul is actually some form of boss and can communicate with 100% grace akin to jared richardson. The following is the first conversation between the two (courtesy of ty kaufman, what the fuck is facebook I have no idea)

Paul Mawdsley    (initiates convo)
I don't really see the resemblance. 

Jared Richardson Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?
20 minutes ago 

Paul Mawdsley lol me to lol u now me him lol u hes loling lol
19 minutes ago 

Jared Richardson At first i was like. Then i lol'd.
18 minutes ago 

Paul Mawdsley I hear we're a legend.
17 minutes ago 

Jared Richardson No.15 minutes ago
 
So In casual conversation Kenneth brings up the fact that Daryl was playing runescape with this here fellow Shyam "Ironic Maiden" Ravichandran. Of course, any mention of Shyam piques Kevin Meagher's interest because hes the only kid still in constant contact with our favorite indian as Shyam is Kevin's boss in the online soccer game fifa(LOL STEP UP SON). Kevin decides to do a little facebook snooping and guess what he finds?
Picture
LOOKS FAMILIAR?
Looks like we have a 100% jared confirmed I mean look at this guy he has it down to the toilet paper clinging to the glasses that Jared keeps around so he can jack off where he wants when he wants. On the other side, he has his sunglasses he keeps around because he knows that his transitions take a year and a half to turn dark in the sun and a commensurate amount of time to become clear in the shade. Also, note how this guy is mocking us with his shirt of some troll + "MAGIC!" which is a clear allusion to jared seemingly being at 2 places at once. yo pal ur secrets out bro maybe you shouldve been better at hiding and not allow urself to be photoed by shyam eh?
Ok so the "jared obvious" category was winning by ez points but then it looks like paul brought in his texas gang, should be close
 
Picture
need a change of undergarments there mason?
After going 2-3 and being tied for second to last place, Mason had to pull off a win this week especially after making that stupid excuse " I had the hardest teams to play against me omg!". Well it turns out that this week Mason managed to pull himself out of the dumpster, or rather, thai decided to climb into the dumpster with Mason and Mason saw his chance and stepped on top of Thai for a 1 point victory. In this High Scoring contest of legends, oh wait they only scored about 70 points each because they have garbage as fuck teams. Thai's entire wide reciever lineup scored less than my one WR mike wallace while Mason's minnesota defense going full retard for the -1 points. Randy scored more points this week that both these dumpsters combined (KEVIN U MAD SON? )

After getting shitslammed by william peng over skype (see bottom post with william's skype comments), Mason needed a big win but turns out all he got was the smallest sons of wins. Mason get yourself a clipboard and a pen or pencil and take notes you ready?

1.) Your quarterbacks are trashtier trade me for cam newton ill take that adrian peterson off your hands
2.) Change your horribad defense, minnesota plays green bay next week
3.) Change your skype profile pic, its gay-meter is off the charts
Picture
jokes? get this shit off my map
On another note, my team faces mason's team this week. Mason has a huge handicap advantage as the eagles have a bye week and my entire team is eagles, Mason will still probably lose because he has no idea about what football is ( nice peyton manning draft yo).


in other unsurprising news, jake lotwin loses yet another game
 
Coming to nobody's surprise, the fantasy football league rankings up to saturday october 15th are as follows
1.) WILLIAM "stigged" PENG
2.) Dennis "FloatesMcgoates" Cao
3.) Kevin "Republicans win" Meagher <--- btw meagher is spelled kind of like meghan HMM?
4.) Randy "sushi" Hiroshige
----------- (top four go to playoffs)
5.) Thai "Thaitanium" Nguyen
6.) Mason "go nads" levy
7.) Ty "GG KEV U MAD?" Kaufman 
8.) Jake "dunno his team name but he sucks huge balls" Lotwin

Pulling the number one spot out of his fucking ass is this william fellow who immigrated in the third grade. Going into the draft, he had no idea what the hell he was doing so he decided to "troll" kevin by first picking aaron rodgers. Turns out kevin goes for the counter troll by picking william's favorite bandwagon quarterback tom brady. Then, the two negotiate a SUPERSECRET trade. Anyway, william procedes to stack his entire team full of new england patriot players because he knows 0 about anybody else who plays in the NFL and he crosses his fingers while holding his balls hoping for wins.

WELL then out of 100% luck it turns out after 5 weeks of play William rode the patriot penis all the way to first place. Now, he thinks he is the lord of all football and has began giving out advice to other players.
Picture
SIGH
Picture
This shit is unbearable
Picture
HOLY SHIT GENIUS ALERT

Of course, I did the same thing as william only instead of stacking patriots players I have stacked Eagles players for equally good results, EZ number 2 seed no problems?

The other story here is that the 3 white kids in the league are scrambling to explain why they r sucking so much dick
Picture
typical excuses + nice english bro
jake just sucks nice 1-4 chap dont worry I provide fantasy football lessons for $9.99 per hour paypal to DennisCao@live.com
 
just need pics no need for text gg ty sucks
Picture
YOU THINK U GOOD HUH?
Picture
stfu jared real men talking