So I walk into the mens room and as usual the place is covered in urine + the drains are 100% useless because the urine isnt actually liquid but has solidifed into a carpet of some sort of gel like substance.
not too hard
Also, if you happen to go into the stall for some reason there is a 90% chance that
1.) There is shit still in the toilet
2.) There is shit outside of the toilet
3.) Mysterious pile of toilet paper + unidentifyable substance in the corner
4.) you go to poop then realize that only the log of the toilet paper is left
of course it is still 100% better than the women's room because we dont have to wait in an hour long line GG
edit: GODDAMNIT TY WAY TO REMIND ME THAT SLOWBE ISNT IN ON FRIDAY WAY TOO LATE, I ALREADY DID THE HOMEWORK.
IM POINTING AT UR ASS
So at some UN general assembly meeting, this nutjob president(lol?) of iran (nice country bro) ahmadinejad decides to do his usual routine and denounce the great satan america
. This time, he decides to go to the old conspiracy theory that 9/11 was an inside job (its probably effective to destroy your own economic + military centers eh?).
Anyway, as can be expected, the United States leads a walkout along with the rest of the civilized nations of the world. However, there is another party involved here... Al-qaeda! Turns out, the terrorist group may or may not be pissed off that iran comes along and decides to take away their "crowning achievement." Anyway, their official statement is as follows:
"The Iranian government has professed on the tongue of its president Ahmadinejad that it does not believe that al Qaeda was behind 9/11 but rather, the US government," it said. "So we may ask the question: why would Iran ascribe to such a ridiculous belief that stands in the face of all logic and evidence?"
FUCKING IRAN WTF U DOING?
Then al-aqaeda (wtf name is fucking hard to spell) decides to go for the megablow by calling iran "jihadists in name only", and then they go into a rant how about they are actually fighting "the great satan" while the iranians are sitting there in their huts merely shouting into a microphone but not actually doing anything. (I think they might be mad)
High quality statement from the terrorists:
"Iran and the Shi'a in general do not want to give al Qaeda credit for the greatest and biggest operation ever committed against America because this would expose their lip-service jihad against the Great Satan."
this is probably how hitler would feel if the russians randomly came out during world war 2 and said "DAMN MOUSOLINNI HES KILLING ALL THE JEWS!"
NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN IT WAS FUCKING ME YOU MORONS
physics too ez
Mr yip (former ap physics teacher): "nothing travels faster than light guyz its da rules"
yip:"LISTEN SON, I DUNNO IF YOU KNOW THIS BUT THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS ALSO (wait for it) THE SPEED OF TIME SO NOTHING TRAVELS FASTER THAN LIGHT/TIME K JUST ACCEPT IT FGT"
smartass: "the fuck is the speed of time?"
mr yip getting pretty mad at this point
Well turns out, a group of international scientists (probably led by an american, usa #1) found particles that go faster than light
no, were not talking about the above retardedness
Apparently, some neutrinos went 60 nanoseconds faster than light in some test."We have high confidence in our results. We have checked and rechecked for anything that could have distorted our measurements but we found nothing," says the main guy in charge.
Conclusion: SCIENCE TEACHERS ALWAYS WRONG, IGNORE THEM.
Third game in a row the vikings lose after taking a huge halftime lead over the opposing team
. How does a team with one of the best running backs in the league lose when they are AHEAD by 3 possessions? Well, it turns out the coach, leslie frazier
, comes up with the retarded idea of only giving adrian peterson the ball 5 times during the second half.
Ahead by 20 points? LETS PASS THE BALL!
Anyway, in the fourth quarter, the vikings have a 4th and 1 situation on the lions' side of the field. Frazier brings out his field goal unit but adrian peterson decides that he has had enough of this moron coach so he tells everyone to go for it. I mean hes Adrian peterson of course he thinks he can get one yard.
FUCK THE COACH WE GOIN FOR IT YO!
So after running around headless for a few seconds, the vikings decide to listen to Adrian peterson and go for it on 4th and 1.
However, Frazier decides to TROLOLOLOL everyone in the vikings stadium + adrian peterson by not giving adrian peterson the ball, but handing the ball off to the fullback (LOL?).
WOW MY COACH SUCKS
Needless to say the vikings did not convert the 4th down and proceeded to lose the game
problem? vikings fans?
So Sterling assigns some homework on excel, then says "we do it in class", but then changes it to homework again but doesnt tell us when its due. Also, its some weird thing using excel (the hell?).
However, I guess getting confused when the page isnt updated just means I have gotten spoiled by a teacher that actually updates the page. I mean, good luck finding the statistics homework.